Anonymous asked: Do you like Robot Chicken?
I actually am not familiar with Robot Chicken, but I like everything in the phrase so it can’t be bad. Big fan of chickens and all the different products that come from them - truly, the potato of the bird world.
And I like robots because I make them from the houses I build in StarCraft
Except when I make the wrong houses
which make the wrong robots
which shoot the wrong lasers
and i lose
The Battlecruiser. My favourite Terran unit. Even though they hardly ever get used… I loved these things when I played Broodwar as a kid. I was so convinced I was unstoppable if I managed to get a handful of em.
Anonymous asked: :gives you hypothetical chicken nuggets: You know what's up!
does the breading on your chicken nugget ever kind of lift off and you just put fries in it
Anonymous asked: All of a sudden, a change of heart? Alright, I won't leave.
Anonymous asked: bitches love your bed, john.
my fuckin god do I have to delete my tumblr and get a livejournal or something?
I’m too young to drink for the “taste” and too old to get crazy shitfaced. When I drink, it’s just business. Me and the ABV - alcohol by volume.
If you’re one of those *sip* *sip* “ah mah gahd the mouthfeel!”people I’mma have to tell you to just go fuck yourself
What it feels like when you first start playing an MMO.
Anonymous asked: Thanks for the good time. John (If that's really your name) I'm forever grateful for your creative TL;DR post. You are indeed, a wild one. ; )
don’t leave me anon. i can change
what are some things you like
Anonymous asked: Oh but of course, nice guys finish last. I also see you're a Doctor Who fan? Care to step inside my TARDIS? It's bigger on the inside. ;)
yes i am. i like that and firefly and 30 rock and parks and recreation and community and world of warcraft and starcraft and bonus french fries at the bottom of the bag and caffeine and cheap beer and carbs in general and
i can’t do this anon. i can’t get emotionally attached to your perfectly symmetrical gray face with your too-school-for-cool sunglasses.
i’m not doing well in starcraft and i don’t have any money and i just don’t think i can do this
i’m a wreck and no one likes me and i’m.. skinny fat or something probably
you’d best be on your way, friend
come hither chilluns
Every year, around the first few days of December, children 21 years of age or older wait patiently for the Beer Fairy.
Oh what’s that? You’ve not heard of the beer fairy? Let me oblige you.
Legend speaks of a Beer Fairy that watches over every one of us. It’s a crisp December night, as you waltz through the grocery store looking for the choicest frozen dinner-for-one, you head back to work so you can put in your full 11 hours a day. For me, that means staying late to read plates with 96 little cubby holes with tiny spots in them and you have to go through every cubby hole on every plate to count the spots because science
And the plates I read have both red AND blue spots, so that means I have to go through every cubby hole and every plate twice to count them separately because science
Anyway, the story goes that on your thousandth plate, you pause the machine on a cubby hole that has this dark blue background that makes the machine count all the red spots as purple so you have to manually count and correct them, and you click your heels three times and say
I wish I were dead
I wish I were dead
I wish I were dead
And before you can even take a picture of the plate to include in your suicide note, the Beer Fairy comes and leaves you a case of American beer.
American beer, used in colonial times for religious ceremonies, is traditionally distilled from the urine of forest creatures who are very ill. It is a tradition that continues to this very day.
No one knows who the Beer Fairy is. Some say it is the benevolent spirit of plate readers past. Others say, more accurately, that it’s Mike.
But whoever the Beer Fairy might be, it is tradition to then drink the beer while staring out a window at night, thinking about some of the choices you’ve made.
Though I can not say if this is really an “American tradition,” it is indeed tradition for at least one American.
Anonymous asked: additional pylons, please. ignite my curiosity.
we get matched together in the lobby. i thought i’d never meet you here, but battle.net makes for strange bedfellows
we both enter the loading screen, and i’m blowing and rubbing my hands together to get them limber enough to hit the “a” key to make lotsa marines
we meet. a casual “gl hf” from both of us. this was supposed to be a casual encounter and nothing more
i open up with a banshee harass to tease you. you brush me away so i turn back to my base to macro
i try to take an expansion but, coyly, you do a zergling runby. i’m flustered; my hands tremble; but i still try to maek mareeeens
i don’t look or talk to you for 20 minutes while i make marines and probably a few tanks and medivacs
deep in my base i upgrade my marines
finally, i take my entire deathball and bust down your front while i do a drop in your backdoor
but you still win so i gg and get on tumblr for a while
tldr i don’t make additional pylons because i play terran and i’m fucking bad at the game
Anonymous asked: no, it's not a motherfucking game. #shitjustgotreal #hideyokids #hideyowife
yes, it is. i’ve never posted a selfie on here so you don’t know what I look like
ergo you can’t call my face nice things
you already know what I look like
ergo you’re mike
Anonymous asked: hey, let's bang ;)
well foreplay for me is chicken mcnuggets
and then pillow talk is starcraft 2 jokes that aren’t funny or relevant
so do you still want to touch my peepee or must i construct additional pylons